Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
