Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
