Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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