Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
