capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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