So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
