What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I didn't shave. On purpose
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
