Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize