brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
