so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
