he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
