This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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