Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
