let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
