Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
