When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
