i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize