I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
