As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
