when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
