he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
