so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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