Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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