Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
