I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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