glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i love accidental penises.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
not ubering you a puppy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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