Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
