...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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