Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
