awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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