Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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