He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
