and you said cock pushups were impossible
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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