I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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