good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
