none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
