I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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