sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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