That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
