i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the day after is always just damage control
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
