I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
