Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
