You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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