He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He has the fingertips of a God
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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