I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
