tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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