when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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