remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
