turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
