Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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