hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize