Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
