uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
