no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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