Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize