wake up i wanna do it froggy style
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
