the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
