I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Randomize
