ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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